I died in the wilderness on Minecraft. How do I get those items back?

This was completely unfair. I was just sitting there with a few other people and I told them not to attack me because I had to go take a massive crap. Which they promised me that they wouldn't but just to be safe I turned up the volume on my speakers just to be safe… Anyways, I rushed to the bathroom and it was a photo finish and took a massive crap then all the sudden I hear them attacking my player and I'm like "wtf those stupid jews they promised!" and I'm like "wtf" so I use my hand and wipe it all off as quick as I can because I don't want poop in my butt cheeks thats gross! I then ran to my computer and didn't have time to pull my pants backup almost slipped and slammed my poopy hand on the keyboard in hoping I could get outta the wilderness before they killed me but I was too late… Now I'm itemless and got crap all over my computer keyboard:(

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