I want to leave and be free?!

I m just so tired. I ruined everything for myself. I m an outcast and I have no friends. I m sure everyone in my school including the seniors too think I m weird. Why can t I fit in like them? Please don t say weird is better than normal. Because I know I may be special but its not helping me. I have a totally different perspective about everything. And because of that it ruins me. I just feel so empty now. I used to cry a lot but now, even when I want to cry I just can t. I can t let any emotions out. You might say joining some activities and sports will help me but it didnt. It made everything worse. I go to a local Asian school and they take it very seriously than I can t quit. Even if I m trying to get better at the sport I m doing, they tell me I suck and I feel like there s no need to try in basketball, and in life. I have been feeling like this for a year now. I know it s short but it felt so bad that I know someday I m going to break. I just want to leave. If there was a portal to another world then I would go to it without saying goodbye. That s why I m really into astronomy. But I know I can t be one because it s hard and it would take me a lot of time.
I want to be in a fantasy world. Like in minecraft surrounded by nature. I want to be alone and free. I just can t take it anymore. What do I do?

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